About A Girl

Guess What?!

2011-09-19T17:13:00.000-07:00

WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

house hunting part II

2011-09-14T17:29:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned how exhausting house hunting is? We're making an offer on another house (we didn't get the first one) and now we're at the back and forth part of the part of the deal. I'm ready to move and decorate! Come on already and just accept our offer!!!

Home Sweet Home?

2011-08-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

4 bedroom, 2 full baths, 1/2 bath, formal dining room, living room, den, full finished basement, 2 car garage, huge yard + deck. Master bath w/ walk in closet. What more can I ask for?!

We have to wait 24 hours to see if our offer is accepted. I'm so anxious! I don't know how I'm going to get through tomorrow, or tonight!

Fingers crossing, prayers, good vibes, positive thoughts. I need it all!

Love of my life

2011-08-23T21:10:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned that I can't wait to marry this man?!

I Quit

2011-08-23T21:02:00.000-07:00

I am conflicted. For my entire life I've been biting my tongue when it comes to how people treat me and efforts that are put forth in relationships. I can say that without a doubt I am extremely caring, kind, and selfless when it comes to the needs of people I love. I can also say that I am always concerned, interested, excited and truly involved in the life's of those I love. My whole life I feel like I give and give and give and well, my cups empty. I feel like people are usually nice to me because they want something, there is always some sort of motive. I'll be damned if I'm going to go out of my way to please everyone. It's draining emotionally. I usually come home from events, occasions, gatherings, exhausted and extremely sad. Sadly, with the except of my darling fiance and my best friend I don't know anyone who isn't too self absorded and self centered. So, little blog. I'm signing off. I don't have time to make time for selfish people. I'm going to live my life for me and quit begging for people to jump in and notice. If you miss out it's your fault.

Tik Tok

2011-07-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

You know how they say you have a biological clock and once it starts ticking you'll know.
Well holy fuck. All I can think about is having a baby. It's so thought consuming.
I cannot wait until Nick and I get married next October. Then we can start trying. Imaging a tiny little baby...oh....it's just so exciting. It's honestly the most exciting thing I've ever thought about.
Yep, I'm ready and my clock is ticking!

Codes and Keys

2011-06-18T21:10:00.000-07:00

"We won't get far
Flying in circles inside a jar
Because the air we breathe
Is thinning with the words that we speak

That we speak
You and me
That we speak
You and me

You're on the floor
Fearful of what's outside your door
But the codes and keys
They can protect you
From the pangs of jealousy

When you scream
Love you see
Like a child
Throwing stones at the sky
When they fall back to earth
As minor chords of major works
Separate rooms of single life
We are one
We are alive

We are alive

We are alive

We are alive

We are alive"

Death for Cutie, Codes and Keys

Cuteness!

2011-02-15T17:52:00.000-08:00

I found these pictures of the cutest babies. Yeah, maybe one of these days I'll have one :) Their little faces may have changed my mind.

"We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He asked, I said Yes!!

2011-01-14T18:02:00.000-08:00

Let the planning begin!!!!

I Wanna Be Held Captive Oh-oho-oho

2010-09-09T19:47:00.000-07:00

I was heading home from class in a horrible mood. Then I heard this song on the radio and before I knew it I was bopping around in my seat with a huge smile on my face. Thanks NPR!

Don't Let Your Feet Touch Ground

2010-08-28T21:42:00.000-07:00

I adore Ash Koley and our dancing style is very similar :)

Ode To My Family

2010-08-24T20:02:00.000-07:00

When everyone is busy with their own lives, making memories, I can't help but feel alone. I feel left out. Like I'm the only one who realizes that something is missing...
I cut my father out of my life because he's not interested in having a relationship with me. Our relationship was completely one sided. It's a shame that he's missing out on knowing his awesome daughter. I told him how much it hurts to know that he now has a new family and that he forgot about me. It didn't change anything. I feel like I really tried, I confronted him. This is something that I talk about a lot with my therapist. So far we haven't come up with another solution. It's been decided that my Dad's an idiot and it's not my fault that he doesn't want to have a relationship with me. It's not my fault. I didn't do anything. It's also been decided that it's best I don't write him a scathing letter telling him to fuck off. I guess I'll just have to accept the fact that yes, my father is alive and well but, he's not in my life.

Everywhere I go

2010-08-23T17:43:00.000-07:00

"And i fall on my knees

Tell me how's the way to be

Tell me how's the way to go

Tell me all that i should know

And i fall on my knees

Tell me how's the way to go

Tell me how's the way to be

To evoke some empathy..."

- Lissie, Everywhere I Go

Happiness in heels...

2010-08-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

I've always had a love for shoes. The higher the heel the better.
There is something really sexy about a simple outfit accessoried with the right pair of shoes.
That may seem weird but, it's true. I have decided that I don't own enough shoes (haha) and I need to expand my collection. Here are a couple that have caught my eye:

Love this platform heel and in my favorite color!!!

I will have to get boot for fall.

Nordstrom.com

New Perspective

2010-08-09T17:01:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to a lot of Songs: Ohia lately. There is something profoundly beautiful in Jason Molina's lyrics. I particularly like this verse from the song Coxcomb Red:

"you said every road is a good road
between the next road and your last road
every love is your best love and every love is your last
and every kiss is a goodbye"

I can relate to these lines. I think it's very easy when you are in a relationship to say that it is your best, when you're in it, in that moment and when that relationship ends you say to yourself never again. It was once a vicious cycle for me. I can say that I'm glad definitely a serial monogamous. I'd like to think that this is my last relationship...my long term "forever" relationship. The heart is a risky fuel to burn but, it's worth it..right?

My therapist told me today that I've finally gained a new perspective on my life. And it's a really good perspective. I feel happy and it's because I'm working on myself and looking at everything with new eyes. It's pretty incredible.

imgfave.com

"Isn’t it amazing to come across people that used to share your same breath…and still do despite time and distance?"

2010-07-28T18:41:00.000-07:00

I finally decided to do something out of the norm for me and took a road trip to visit a friend I hadn't seen in 10 years. I was terrified and really thought of a million reasons why I shouldn't go. What if we didn't like each other anymore? Could I really drive 6 hours all by myself? Will my car make it? Typical me, making excuses but, NO, not this time. I went for it! It took me months and I finally talked myself into going.
When I arrived and saw her face I was overcome with emotion. I could barely park the car my eyes were blurry with tears. During our reunion I realized why we became friends in 9th grade. We can finish each other sentences, we still have so much in common despite the 10 years it had been since we'd seen or really talked to one another. I remember being 14 and how we would sit for hours listening to Sarah Mclachlan. Feeling all the emotions of her lyrics. Taking them in, truly living them. Being completely vulnerable and awkward but, not realizing it because we were really just kids. It only made sense that on this truly amazing reunion of friends we got to go see her in concert. As soon as she opened her mouth to sing I completely lost it, I cried uncontrollable tears... I could feel all that empty space that I had felt being removed. For the past 10 years I felt friendless, alone, and empty. Those feelings just disappeared right at that moment. I finally had my one true friend back. It was cathartic. It was like all that time, that gap was finally closed and everything made sense again.

"I will be the answer

At the end of the line

I will be there for you

While you take the time

In the burning of uncertainty

I will be your solid ground

I will hold the balance

If you can't look down

If it takes my whole life

I won't break, I won't bend

It will all be worth it

Worth it in the end

Cause I can only tell you what I know

That I need you in my life

When the stars have all gone out...."

Answer - Sarah Mclachlan

I knew the years would go quickly but, not quite as fast as this...

2009-12-30T19:41:00.003-08:00

In the coming year, I hope to find peace with myself. Put away all the guilt and anger I've held onto for so many years. Let it be. Let it go. I'll let you go. Harboring hurt. I'll take the time to soak up the good stuff, the happy feelings, the little moments of joy. A chance for calm, a hope for freedom.

Publish Post

Cupcakes and Candles

2009-12-04T16:51:00.000-08:00

It's a tradition in my family to not only have just a birthday but a birthday weekend. You can have anything you want. Need a drink? Someone will get it for you. Want control of the remote control? Sure you can watch your reality t.v. for hours.....Why? Because you're the birthday princess! There is something so satisying about being waited on hand and foot.

Make a wish!!!!!!!!!

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Burn the books....

2009-11-30T18:04:00.000-08:00

I've always had a love for paper journals. Throughout the years I've filled notebook after notebook with all my thoughts and secrets. I've learned that sometimes it's best not to write everything down...all that incriminating evidence. So, I destroyed them...

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

A million miles ago you seem...

2009-11-29T18:27:00.000-08:00

On my saddest days I find myself thinking about my first love and the unbearable heartbreak that came along with it. I think no matter how many loves you have after, it's never the same.

photo from weheartit.com

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

"Green, green, youth

what about the sweetness we knew?

What about what's good what's true

from those days?

Can't count to all the lovers I've burned through

So why do I still burn for you?

I can't say..." - Sun Kil Moon